Effective Communications Tip of the Week
By Dan Baldwin
Accident Prone Prose
Driving under the influence is no laughing matter, but getting caught DUI certainly inspires the creative juices to start flowing. Following are a few heartfelt (if not thought out) explanations offered to the officer, judge or spouse in charge of the unfortunate situation.
The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had fractured my skull.
The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end.
My car was legally parked as I back into the other vehicle.
A cow wandered into my car. I was later informed that the unfortunate cow was half-witted.
The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering into the other vehicle.
When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
An invisible care came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The accident was entirely due to the road bending.
I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman, as he bounced off the hood of my car.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.